monkey do, eh?

10:24pm Tuesday, Apr 29
The second day I was in Costa Rica, I participated in an all-Spanish group activity called "eschalda, defrente, cambio!" [my Spanish is off, sorry]. Anyways, I was told "eschalda" means "back", that d-word means "front", and "cambio" means change - and was left to figure out on my own what happened when someone yelled "Cambio!". It turned into one big embarrassing stunt of "monkey see, monkey do" - though a monkey could've done better. And little did I know then that this one activity would set the tone for my entire experience here ...

This whole time, I've been relying on observation as my primary source of information. I'm still trying to figure out what the hell is going on, and I'm beginning to see that I will never understand the Costa Rican way of life. Everything just seems backwards, inside out. Cultural differences can only account for so much ... the rest just seems like bad judgment, or, "monkey business".

Forget about great ideas with no follow-through. Forget about trying to change things that are working quite perfectly. Forget about taking two full weeks to schedule ONE lesson. Forget, even, about inviting a foreigner to come teach when there are no students to teach. All of these things are a little frustrating (and yes, not very logical), but they're things that can be overlooked. What I can't seem to get past is the totally defective education system: like I said, CEI is a school for kids that failed or were kicked out of regular high schools. But instead of receiving the extra attention or discipline they seem to require, they're rewarded with this incredible level of freedom, and granted full responsibility over their own education. What they are taught has no structure, apparent objective, or cohesiveness. If they feel like leaving, they leave; if they don't do their work, that's okay, too. They listen to their iPods while the teacher talks, they talk while the teacher talks. What 15-year-old delinquent, in his/her right mind, would, given the choice, choose to do schoolwork?? It just seems like good kids are being cheated, and innocently spiraling further into trouble without a decent education. If this were Canada, I'd tell them it's wrong, all wrong - but this isn't Canada. This is Costa Rica. And it's not wrong, to Costa Ricans. Part of respecting the culture is simply recognizing your place within it (and the behaviour expected from you in that position). So I just watch, listen, observe ... and do what I can with my 40-minute time frame. It's actually a bit like staring at a wreck on the highway from the safety of your own car - you feel helpless, passive, and guilty. And curious about how it got that way. Likewise, after being so idle, and watching troubled kids receive a poor education ... you're, well, crushed.

And then there's the trust thing. The first week I was told that "No one trusts anyone" in San Jose. I laughed - I thought it was a joke. Turns out, "Trust no one" is practically a motto here. Now the bars on the windows make even more sense, and I guess offer some strange, foreign reassurance. But in university I learned about a social-psychological phenomenon called "Reactance Theory" - and its premise has stuck with me for years. Basically, it said that when people feel their freedom to choose an action is threatened, they're likely to react by performing the "forbidden" behaviour (thus proving that their free will has not been compromised). If you don't believe me, here's proof:"Pennebaker and Sanders (1976) put one of two signs on college bathroom walls. One read ‘Do not write on these walls under any circumstances’ while the other read ‘Please don’t write on these walls.’ A couple of weeks later, the walls with the ‘Do not write on these walls under any circumstances’ notice had far more graffiti on them."It just really makes you wonder what came first in San Jose - the barred windows, or the crime?

So consider this: People have commented that my travel pictures make it seem like I'm "living the dream". And after seeing the breathtaking views and unbelievable scenery Costa Rica has to offer, I'd almost say those people are right. But "living the dream" is actually the complete opposite of travelling, sometimes - it's staying in Canada, where the streets are safe, your neighbours are trusted, doors are unlocked, and education is standardized & fair.

For 6 more days I'll reluctantly mimic the Ticos and the Costa Rican way of life. And in 6 days when I'm back on Canadian soil, I'll remind myself that there really is no place like home ...

every little ting

1:51pm Wednesday, Apr 23 Edit Note Delete
The minute I walked in the school I knew something was different. Their pants hung a little lower, their hair was a little longer, and their attitudes were high. Turns out, I was right – CEI (Centro Educatio Interactiva) is a school for kids who have rebelled against everything about schools – the rules, the uniforms, the punishments. With good reason, CEPPA wants to implement its peace program here. I figured we’d come up with some more creative, cooperative, fun interactive activities, but my director insists we stick to the original plan – teaching them a “feel good”, “love each other”, “Pavarotti & friends” song in English. This should go over well – teaching a lame song to students who are only there because they hate school in the first place. The kids are amazing, but I sense a sing-a-long just ain’t their thing (and so does their teacher). Suggestions are welcome (as are miracles).

But like I said, these kids are amazing. In a class debate about capital punishment, one student was getting a little worked up, so the other students hugged her and broke out into a spontaneous chorus of Bob Marley’s “Three Little Birds” [“don’t worry, about a thing … ‘cause every little ting, is gonna be all right …”]. The fact that she is 17 and that passionate about anything is one thing – but to be able to express her frustration so accurately in her second language is nothing less than impressive (as is the 12-year old grade nine student who speaks Spanish, English, Italian and Japanese. Whew.) And there’s something awfully inspiring about kids singing some Bob Marley in a foreign classroom – I don’t quite know what it is, but I hope you all get the chance to hear it someday. It proved that in Costa Rica, there’s obviously a sense of community that we should focus on expanding, not inventing.

If I’ve learned anything from this experience so far, it’s that the biggest problems sometimes have the smallest solutions. A little bit of cooperation in a classroom can drastically reduce violence on the streets. Really.

But it hasn’t all been “fun and games” here (to say the very least). As I mentioned before, living in a homestay is incredibly (and surprisingly) trying. The other night I was sitting in on a lecture at a university in Heredia and didn’t get home till about 9pm … and apparently had my hostess worried sick the whole time. This is problematic on sooooo many levels:No idea I was obligated to tell her where I was …[But rest assured, your “mother” IS always with you wherever you go]…No idea how to find/use/pay for a payphone. No idea how to say “I am going to be late” had I been able to find/use a payphone.The Spanish silent treatment was my punishment … so awkward it had me actually appreciating the solitude of my cockroach-infested pad on the weekend.

And solitude is great – until you can feel every set of eyes on you as you walk down the street alone. In different circumstances, it’d be flattering – but picture bars on every window, dilapidated buildings, barbed-wire fences and glass-littered sidewalks …. and it’s just plain frightening.

And so, big cheers to: generous people from Georgia, 50+ year olds who offer great conversation, sweet coladas on the sandy beach, and a couple of motivational Bob Marley notes.

Never underestimate the infinite importance of those little things …
Keep ‘em coming, and every little ting is gonna be alright.

nightmares on avenida diaz

11:43am Saturday, Apr 19
¿Que tal?

What is going on? I'm starting to realize that when you travel alone, time when you should become more self aware turns into time when you're at your most vulnerable. To what, exactly, I don't know ... but it sure is an unusual feeling.

I'm in Jaco for the weekend, a beach town 3hrs west of San Jose.

There's a 'little' alligator 10m away from my cabin (as if 'little' disguises the fact it's a flesh-eating beast that will most surely hunt me down in the middle of the night).

There's a decapitated cockroach on my bathroom floor (my doing, thank you). Its presence isn't unusual, my killing it is. It's the antennas that are freaky - they slowly scan the room like radar, obviously trying to pin down your exact location so they can make their next move. Buggers.

The first English-speaking person I approached turned out to have half a face. No kidding.

And yesterday when I was leaving a patio, my server said, 'See you later Susie!'. 'Susie'? Did I give him my name? I don't think I gave him my name. No, definitely not. Passport? Check. 'Sweetie'? No. WTF?

So, yeah - a week in relative solitude leaves you susceptible to the worst danger possible - doubting your own perception of reality. Maybe friends are good for more than just companionship - for confirmation of things you think you saw/did/heard/felt.

Hmph.

Hasta luego.

pura vida

11:35am Thursday, Apr 17

Life in San Jose is slow. Really slow. And compared to the excitement, anticipation and break-neck speed of getting here, it seems even slower. It´s eerily peaceful - but then again, peace is the whole reason I´m here.

Tuesday I started my volunteering at Fundacion CEPPA - Centre Etudiates Pas Paix. It´s an organization in Latin America that integrates the Canadian-based Alternatives to Violence Program to ¨transform power¨and encourage creative conflict resolution. Don´t let their zen-like goals fool you - the organization has significantly reduced violence in high schools around the world and has made many countries a litttle more peaceful. Gandhi will be pleased.

Finding your way around San Jose, however, isn´t nearly as peaceful. Street signs are useless as Costa Ricans use landmarks to direct them where they want to go - including incredibly unreliable landmarks like the ¨perro blanco¨`[white dog], and a fig tree that was removed in 1995. It´s easy for me to get lost in Canada, but in San Jose, my fate is inevitable...

As scary as not knowing the language may be, it also makes for some pretty hilarious situations. Yesterday, I took a 20 minute walk to Colegio Mexico with Stephanie, whose English proficiency is limited to ¨Let´s go!¨and öhmygod.¨It was basically 20 full minutes of her asking me questions in Spanish, me being embarrassed at my ignorance, and us both laughing. [Laughter really is universal.] And here´s what we learned:

¿cual es su nombre? [what is your name?]¨

monday, tuesday, wednesday, thursday, friday, saturday, sunday¨

Trying to memorize landmarks and directions in a foreign country while holding a conversation in a language you don´t speak is ... impossible.

Also: Nothing matters [in a good way]. Don´t know how to get home? It´s ok, let´s get lost! We can´t teach our program because the high school teachers are on strike. Muy bien, it´s ok! And living in a homestay is awkward, challenging, and a little bit boring ... but it´s ok, too.

Slow motion. A rooster for an alarm clock. No phone, no internet. No conversation. No matter. Muy bien.

¿pura vida? Si.